Maxell
Happy New Year 2011!
All friends from forum happy new year 2011
Maxell
Maxell
Pod ten adres proszę przesyłać zdjęcia i teksty. Zdjęcia muszą posiadać szerokość co najmniej 800 pikseli - wysokość nie jest istotna - ważne by były dobrej jakości.
maxell11@wp.pl
maxell11@wp.pl
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Chuckwagon
- Veteran
- Posts:4494
- Joined:Tue Apr 06, 2010 04:51
- Location:Rocky Mountains
-
Chuckwagon
- Veteran
- Posts:4494
- Joined:Tue Apr 06, 2010 04:51
- Location:Rocky Mountains
Dealing With 2010
I`ve learned to take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila! I used to be indecisive, but now I'm just not sure. And shucks, nostalgia just isn't what it used to be. I believe a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. And, the voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! I also believe that a person is never too old to learn something stupid. Heck, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather - not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I believe we never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. Shucks, the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live! Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. To be sure of hitting the `target`, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
I asked God for a new Harley, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole one and asked for forgiveness. I wonder why it is that if we steal ideas from a person, it's called plagiarism... but to steal from many people, it is called research. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they invariably touch wet paint after reading a sign that says wet paint? And why does the guy on the evening news always begin by saying "Good evening," and then proceeds to tell you why it isn't?
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, "In case of emergency, notify: ___. I always put "A DOCTOR". They say behind every successful man is his woman. Heck, I believe that behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. Oh yeah... a bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station!
I still have many questions in life. I just don`t know how one careless match can start a forest fire, while it takes a whole box of them to start a campfire? And just where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an `s` in it? By the way, is there another word for synonym? Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids? Shouldn`t they be called "ass-teroids"? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? How is it possible to have a civil war? War does not determine who is right -- only who is left. And do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? And shucks, if the police arrest a mime, why do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? If a deaf child signs swear words, is his mother supposed to wash his hands with soap? What is a person supposed to do when he sees an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? Gosh, what if there were no hypothetical questions? Is Atheism a non-prophet organization? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I went into a Barnes & Noble bookstore and asked the saleswoman where I could find the `self-help` section. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose! Yup, some people cause happiness wherever they go... for others, it is whenever they go. And yes, I believe change is inevitable... except from a vending machine!
Yup, it has been a rough year. The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail! Shucks, I ordered a burger at McDonald`s - something new called the "Quarter Ouncer". The kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" It is so bad that if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them! Shucks, recently a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico! And parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and actually learning their own children's names. Yup, it`s pretty bad when Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. You know it`s bad when the Mafia starts laying off judges and Exxon-Mobil laid off twenty-five Congressmen!
Shucks, I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!
Happy New Year, Chuckwagon
I`ve learned to take life with a grain of salt... plus a slice of lemon... and a shot of tequila! I used to be indecisive, but now I'm just not sure. And shucks, nostalgia just isn't what it used to be. I believe a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. And, the voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! I also believe that a person is never too old to learn something stupid. Heck, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather - not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I believe we never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. Shucks, the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live! Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. To be sure of hitting the `target`, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
I asked God for a new Harley, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole one and asked for forgiveness. I wonder why it is that if we steal ideas from a person, it's called plagiarism... but to steal from many people, it is called research. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they invariably touch wet paint after reading a sign that says wet paint? And why does the guy on the evening news always begin by saying "Good evening," and then proceeds to tell you why it isn't?
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, "In case of emergency, notify: ___. I always put "A DOCTOR". They say behind every successful man is his woman. Heck, I believe that behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. Oh yeah... a bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station!
I still have many questions in life. I just don`t know how one careless match can start a forest fire, while it takes a whole box of them to start a campfire? And just where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an `s` in it? By the way, is there another word for synonym? Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids? Shouldn`t they be called "ass-teroids"? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? How is it possible to have a civil war? War does not determine who is right -- only who is left. And do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? And shucks, if the police arrest a mime, why do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? If a deaf child signs swear words, is his mother supposed to wash his hands with soap? What is a person supposed to do when he sees an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? Gosh, what if there were no hypothetical questions? Is Atheism a non-prophet organization? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
I went into a Barnes & Noble bookstore and asked the saleswoman where I could find the `self-help` section. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose! Yup, some people cause happiness wherever they go... for others, it is whenever they go. And yes, I believe change is inevitable... except from a vending machine!
Yup, it has been a rough year. The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail! Shucks, I ordered a burger at McDonald`s - something new called the "Quarter Ouncer". The kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" It is so bad that if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them! Shucks, recently a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico! And parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and actually learning their own children's names. Yup, it`s pretty bad when Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. You know it`s bad when the Mafia starts laying off judges and Exxon-Mobil laid off twenty-five Congressmen!
Shucks, I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!
Happy New Year, Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! 
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Chuckwagon
- Veteran
- Posts:4494
- Joined:Tue Apr 06, 2010 04:51
- Location:Rocky Mountains
Hello Colin my ol' friend! Nice to see you. I don't think you'll be the only member in Africa for long. This site is starting to take off now. I'm glad you got a chuckle out of my message. I sure would like to be sittin' around a campfire with you, drinkin' stiff African tea and fillin' your ears full of BS.... uh... that's "bean sprouts" to any folks livin' outside the south corral.
So did 2011 finally get around to Kwazulu Natal Zululand? How did you celebrate? Hope you are in good health ol' pal. I'm thinkin' about pickin' up Steelchef in Ft. St. John BC and drivin' my stolen Harley over to see you.
His name is Colin too. Will you show us how to make Borwoars sausage? 
Best wishes, Chuckwagon
So did 2011 finally get around to Kwazulu Natal Zululand? How did you celebrate? Hope you are in good health ol' pal. I'm thinkin' about pickin' up Steelchef in Ft. St. John BC and drivin' my stolen Harley over to see you.
His name is Colin too. Will you show us how to make Borwoars sausage? Best wishes, Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill!
Sorry, been busy honing my skills with Portuguese Chourico but the high humidy has been giving me some problems with not being able to get the skin dry so that I can put them in the smoker.Yes you can come on over if you can handle the heat and the humidty.Bet Steelchef is also a tall good looking guy like me, my twin on the other side of the pond. 
Once I am happy with the Chourico then I will post the recipe and some pictures.
Once I am happy with the Chourico then I will post the recipe and some pictures.
