WD Daily Chat - Talk about anything You Like

el Ducko · Post by **el Ducko** » Tue Jan 07, 2014 17:19

The Latest Improvement

An occasional pleasant surprise is to be expected, even in such an esoteric hobby as sausage making. Hopefully you know the feeling- - you stumble upon a new ingredient in some cozy little restaurant, ask the waiter, chat up the chef, and wind up with a prize-worthy sausage based upon the addition of a couple of grams of a lesser-known spice. (Coca leaves might have been discovered that way, although I hope not.) At any rate, your new find brings increasing notoriety among your friends, who more frequently invite you to back yard cookouts, "...and oh, by the way, would you mind bringing some of that delicious homemade sausage that we had at your place the other weekend? You know, the one that tastes like..."

Gestures are futile, words fail to describe, and you owe it all to your own average set of taste buds and kitchen skills, coupled with an open mind and a bit of good luck. Suddenly, you`re a star. What a wonderful hobby! ...international in scope, infinite in variety, appealing even to vegans in their weaker, wistful moments. Maybe we`re truly blessed, we sausage makers. More likely, we`re just lucky. ...or a bit overweight, too, but we won`t go there. Glory overshadows reality, and let`s face it, our friends and even our spouses like what we turn out. ...and that includes our sausage recipes.

Always seeking to improve, I found a new supplier on the internet, ordered an exotic spice that I`d never heard of before, and added a hank of casing to the order. "Business" has been good lately, demand is high, and I need some more casing, pronto.

The order went through as usual, and five days later a package arrived. I eagerly opened it, stuck the casing packet in the refrigerator, back in the dark corner where I keep such things, and applied my brief attention span to the spice.

Days later, it was only after I had stuffed out a couple of one-kilo batches of bratwurst for a football party that I noticed something different. Normally, I go through one length of casing for every kilo or so of mince. What is left over gets carefully cleaned, re-salted, and stored back in the packet on top of the rest of the casing, so I can use it next time.

This particular length of casing had received more than four kilos of mince without running out. In fact, there was still quite a bit of it mounded up on the stuffer tube after this latest batch. It DID seem longer when I threaded it onto the tube, but it didn`t mound up any more than the earlier packet`s casing, so... perhaps it was thinner? Surely not- - there`s a limit to what pigs can be bred to yield, and thinner intestinal walls isn`t one of those items

The package offered no clues. It appeared to be written in a script similar to Japanese or Chinese or Malaysian or, at any rate, something unknown to me. I asked a Japanese neighbor, and he suggested asking our friend Zhou (pronounced "Joe" locally). We suspect that Joe is short for jokester- - she has an impish smile and eyes that sparkle when she talks, and she is extremely bright, yet her words are always soft and well chosen. Zhou looked at the package, smiled, shook her head, and suggested, "Why not look at the payment, to see where it went."

The only outfit with lips tighter than the banks is Pay Pal. There was no way to tell. Privacy issues, identity theft concerns, all got in the way. Hell, the money might have gone off-planet and all we would see is a paper trail with a dead end, and perhaps a vapor contrail leading straight up from Cape Canaveral. If the Nazis had had today`s privacy laws and wanted to hide, back in the late 1940`s, they would have entered the banking business. ...or perhaps they did, come to think of it.

Meanwhile, though, deer season arrived, and with it, a neighbor bearing meat, ten kilos of it! I made up a whopping batch of venison sausage, both mild and hot versions, plus an old Tennessee recipe that someone had recovered from their grandmother`s attic. I threaded the partly-used length of casing onto the stuffer tube, and soon cranked my way through the whole doggone batch without changing casing. There was still enough casing to do some hot links so, tired as I was, I mixed up a batch and stuffed almost to the end. ...finally.

In coming weeks, the remarkable casing lasted and lasted and... You get the idea. It was toothsome when grilled, gave that great little "pop" feeling with pan fried breakfast sausage, held together through much link-twisting with nary a blow-out, supported more than typical weight when hung from smoke sticks in a vertical smoker, and far out-performed everything. ...including that new spice that I mentioned, which turned out to be a waste of money. I threw it out. It was up in the spice cabinet, still in the small shipping box in which it arrived.

...which was when I noticed the shipping charge, similar to a metered postage sticker, which was in some unknown currency denomination and odd-looking numerals. ...assuming they WERE numerals. They looked similar to the rest of the writing, with the exception of my address. That was mine, alright, although the characters did look a bit strangely formed.

And then, there was the detail on the spice bottle. There was a small logo of some sort, plus the usual unintelligible writing... and a warning notation in myriad multiple languages, one of which was English: "GMO: Container 1 of 2. Combined usage only. Not to be sold separately."
(to be continued...?)

sawhorseray · Post by **sawhorseray** » Tue Jan 07, 2014 17:34

(to be continued...?)

Yes yes yes! RAY

Rick · Post by **Rick** » Tue Jan 07, 2014 18:17

WHAT??? TO BE CONTINUED!!!! No Way!!!! You'd do this to us? When are we getting the continuation?

I'm foaming at the mouth wanting to find out this new source of casing and the secret ingredient!
WHEN?

Shuswap · Post by **Shuswap** » Tue Jan 07, 2014 21:00

Duk, having a son in TX I know your yarns are long but in chapters? Expect you back soon, eh!

grasshopper · Post by **grasshopper** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 02:34

To be continued.? We just went through 20 days of below zero, most mornings 20 below. Now sending the weather over to Ross, out east. To be continued! I am going to send CW's ratchet jaw horse files down there to help you finish the story. Sorry for getting a little cranky. But hurry up.

ssorllih · Post by **ssorllih** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 04:07

I love it! Alfred Hitchcock got onto a crowded elevator in NYC with a friend and continued to tell of the murder he had done the night before and arrived at his floor before he finished the story and stepped out with his friend and left the crowd wondering.

Carpster · Post by **Carpster** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 04:15

Whaaaaat?

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:47

Somebody find a rope!

el Ducko · Post by **el Ducko** » Wed Jan 08, 2014 15:52

...patience, Friends. I'm still working on the shower scene.
Alfred Hitch-duck

ssorllih · Post by **ssorllih** » Thu Jan 09, 2014 22:07

Was listening to the Tappet Brothers on NPR and they were listing staff credits. Their law team was Hyghe, Wyde, and Hansom, successors the Schort, Phatt and Auglie In partnership with Dewey, Cheatam and Howe.

HamnCheese · Post by **HamnCheese** » Mon Jan 13, 2014 16:20

Dear Duck,

Many Happy Returns of the Day; hope you have plans for a celebration of epic proportions!

http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/natio ... -ducky-day

Lynn

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Mon Jan 13, 2014 16:24

Shuswap · Post by **Shuswap** » Mon Jan 13, 2014 16:28

It's also Cuckoo Dancing Week, a tribute to Laurel & Hardy - do Ducks do the Cuckoo dance?

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Mon Jan 13, 2014 16:33

Our "Duk" IS a cuckoo!

grasshopper · Post by **grasshopper** » Mon Jan 13, 2014 18:35

Hope the below freezing is over. Burned a lot of wood, 20 days of below 0. I sent it out east for now.