These high beef prices are just more proof that we need to go back to the old fashioned cattle drive! Okay waddies... Round `em up and head `em out!

We`re drivin` a herd north to
Redzed in Canada! Ridin` point tonight will be
sambal badjak and
ssorllih! Now pay attention junipers and stop twirlin` those big irons and showin` off your quick draw! Keep yer` wits about ya and keep an eye peeled for any gone-astray, ferocious, wayward democrats sneakin` around in the bushes with war paint on their faces.
Krakowska will be the nighthawk on bobtail guard tonight. Ride ahead Fred, and give these folks a hand about midnight, but goodness sakes... leave yer` boots on! Last time you started a stampede and it took us three days to round `em back up again!
Grasshopper Mike and
IdaKraut Rudy will ride drag, bringin` up the rear - in the dust. Wear yer` wild rags boys and cover yer` faces. And goodness sakes, leave that flask alone... you know the one - the one full of snake pizen! ...tarantella juice! ...Taos lightning! ...wild mare`s milk! You know... the one in yer boot! Sing to those doggies boys. Reckon it`ll be a long night. Jest don`t sing like
ssorllih did last week while he was tendin` those calf critters. Sorry, but Ross just cannot sing to those cows! His voice sounded like someone forgot to grease the wagon. His singin' was enough to make a she-wolf jealous. Shucks, that man just punished the air with his vocal performance - sort of like a burro with a bad cold. Maybe we can get
Janlab or
mohsinj677 to give that man some singin` lessons eh?
Oneills, janlab, and cogboy, you`ll have to flank this outfit while the ol` biscuit shooter
Chuckwagon (me) will bring up the .... Chuckwagon! Duh! By the way, have you noticed this ol` dough-puncher`s belly lately? Geeeze... I`m a` puttin` on so much weight, we`ll have to throw a diamond hitch around me just to keep me in the saddle!
Here now! Here now! ... what`s this... there`s ol`
vagreys and
northfork sneakin` into the cookie jar again, and they`ve each got a handful of sourdough biscuits too! Now, git back up on yer` snuffies boys, and help bring the herd up that arroyo. In other words, "fork those broomtails, waddies... there`s plenty of bearsign later"! Now skedaddle.
We sent Graham
spud and
bkleinsmid after stray mavericks this afternoon but they`re not back yet. We`d better get
crustyo44 and
El DuckO to go find them as they are probably held up in the Deadshot Doggery And Thirst Emporium (benzinery bodega) back in town, just a paintin` their tonsils with scamper juice! I Reckon these boys will be right as rain if they don`t discover that bottle of Rattle Yer Hocks on the top shelf behind the bar at The Three-Legged Dog Saloon.
With beef prices as high as they are, we must get this herd through to
Redzed in Canada without any bad medicine `long the way. We wouldn`t want to see him go on a permanent mushroom diet! Now cowboy-up boys and curry the kinks out! Heeyaaa! Heeyaaa! Move `em out!
Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon