Hi New Guys - Introduce Yourself

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Wed Dec 05, 2012 13:00

Here comes a pair of desperate-lookin` yahoos on fast horses! Why, that`s ol` NickLau from Wisconsin and tomwal from England. Say there... one`s holdin` onto a money bag from the First Bank Of Tucson. Who`s that rider behind these guys? It looks like he packin` a star and waving a Colt 45. He`s sure tryin` to catch up to those fellas. OOooohh! I get it. That ol` sheriff is tryin` to encourage those new guys to make a deposit in the Tucson bank.

Wow, what a friendly town.

Hey, relax fellas... you seem as nervous as a couple of skunks in a perfume factory! Welcome to WD!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Mon Dec 10, 2012 12:54

New riders a kickin` up dust! Four of `em pards. Say, there`s ol` Renne from Middle, Tennessee and Alfie from Preston, Australia. Right behind `em are two more intelligent lookin` yahoos riding into camp. There`s WNYSausageman from Buffalo, New York, and altosuny from Austria. Welcome to WD folks! It`s nice to have you with us. Say, isn`t it about time for a little "Really, Really, Strange But True!" ? Okay, here we go...

Living things are fascinating. Did you know that...
- Polar bears are left-handed.
- Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
- A cat's urine glows under a black light.
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
- Starfish have no brains. Shucks, some humans have no brains either!

- Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:45

Yeee Hawww! We have three new wranglers joining the WD outfit today. Welcome aboard cardozajoe from India, Vegas from East Tennessee, and tdimler from Gail, Texas. You fellers look like you`ve just ridden a thousand miles. Step down from yer` ponies and sit a spell with us `round the ol` campfire. We`ve got a fresh pot of brown gargle and three soft logs to sit on. I`ll put your mounts through Chuckwagon`s Automatic Horse Wash while you have some viddles! So grab yer` "reloadin` outfit `cause we`ve got `cued brisket with mashed `taters, hot sourdough biscuits and green salad. Nice to have you with us boys! I`ve got some "Seasoned Saddlebum`s Sage Advice" for you. "Never... never slap a man who`s chewing tobacco".

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Fri Dec 14, 2012 08:44

Welcome aboard szemkel in Adelaide, Australia. Where have you been? We`ve been waiting for you. Hey szemkel, could you answer a couple of questions for me? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from dandruff at one time or another, does that mean that one enjoys it? And if people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? Yup! And then there`s this one: I play the piano so they call me a pianist - but El DuckO drives a race car, and he`s not called a racist?

Glad to have you with us szemkel!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

crustyo44 · Post by **crustyo44** » Fri Dec 14, 2012 09:24

Hi Szemkel,
Welcome to the forum, we have quite a few Australian members now and have a small section dedicated to us. Tell us a bit about yourself and your experience in sausagemaking, curing and smoking meat.
You might have a wealth of experience we all like to tap into or if you are a novice, just ask and you will get plenty of answers from people with years of experience.
Forums are a great way to make new friends, who like to share their knowledge and experience.
Cheers Mate.
Jan.
Brisbane

Post by **redzed** » Fri Dec 14, 2012 15:02

Chuckwagon wrote:And if people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Geez CW, that is one I have never heard before! Will have to use use at some point in time.

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Sun Dec 16, 2012 13:05

Yeew Hawww! Three new brilliant and handsome members joining us today! How do I know they are brilliant? They joined this site didn`t they! Handsome, good-lookin` folks too... just look at `em! Welcome to WD "Redneck" and "Wurstguy", both in North Carolina, and "Decent4u" in New York. It`s nice to have you folks with us. Say folks, I wonder if you could answer a question for me? Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and even Pinning the Tail on the Donkey ... but everyone can find and hit the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. Now, what`s that all about?

Make yourselves at home smoke addicts! You`re going to like this place.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Tue Dec 18, 2012 06:43

Okay wranglers,
Let`s welcome our latest member "cbrace". Now, see if you can figure out where he lives. Here are a few clues: He lives in the most densely populated country in the world and last year it was ranked as the "happiest" country to live in according to the OECD. The country that "cbrace" lives in also has the only reasonably sized town/city in the world whose name begins with ABC. Got it yet? Alright, the town is Abcoude, although cbrace resides in... another city!

Welcome aboard cbrace! We`re glad to have you with us. Amsterdam, in the Netherlands is a great place to live eh? Make yourself comfortable with this band of good folks.

Oh, and by the way, Belgium is the second most densely populated country in the world, followed by Japan.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

cbrace · Post by **cbrace** » Tue Dec 18, 2012 08:17

Howdy all!

More of a sausage eater than a sausage maker myself, but hope to join the exalted ranks of the latter in due time. I live fortunately in a place where I can get fabulous sausage, but that doesn't inhibit me from wanting to try my hand at some point.

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Thu Dec 20, 2012 11:26

Another wrangler ridin` into camp today and his name is "atiq09" from Lahore, Pakistan, a city of nearly seven million people. Hey cowboys, did you know that there are 60 languages spoken in Pakistan. Of those, English continues to be the national language of the country. Hey "atiq09"... slow down and watch out for... oops, too late! You just ran into the cook. Looks like you`ll be doin` the cookin` tonight. Wash yer` hands pal, and start peelin` potatoes. Nice to have you with us. Make yourself at home.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

el Ducko · Post by **el Ducko** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 04:16

Chuckwagon wrote:Living things are fascinating. Did you know that...
- Polar bears are left-handed.
- Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
- A cat's urine glows under a black light.
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
- Starfish have no brains. Shucks, some humans have no brains either!
- Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Hey, CW! I didn't know that about humans and dolphins, but a human and a dolphin... is that legal in Utah? WooHoo! WooHoo!

Speaking of elephants, there was an old man in Utah who used to get up every morning at five A.M. He would then go and sprinkle a white powder on the roads which looked a whole lot like salt. When he was asked what he was sprinkling on the roads, he answered that it was elephant powder.

The person then remarked "But everybody knows that there are no elephants in Utah!" to which he answered "I guess it must be working then!" (And that's how the Great Salt Lake was formed.)

Actually, elephants CAN jump if approached in the proper manner. I heard about this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant; I don't know why. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,000.

All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine. He's carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant, swings the bat, and whacks the elephant's privates pretty badly. Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out the $50,000.

Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover the prize, so he ran another contest. He'd never seen an elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, "no." Same deal as before: $10 per entry, $50,000 prize. Lots of people try and fail.
Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out his bat, and walks up to the elephant. He says, "Remember me?"

The elephant nods yes.

The man says holds up his bat and says, "Want me to use this again?"

The elephant nods his head rather emphatically no....

Chuckwagon · Post by **Chuckwagon** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 05:06

El QUACK-o
Where have you been? Everyone around here thought that perhaps your psychiatrist held you overtime (a couple of weeks!).
Duckster, I don't know what you've got... but I'll bet it is really hard to pronounce!
Say there, El Quack, do you stare at the ceiling at 2 A.M., worrying about elephants jumping? Oh you poor man.
And as far as dolphins go, you should see them walk in the moonlight, upright on their fins... along the shores of the Great Salt Lake!

Yes, yes... these are the little known "salt back" dolphins of the Great Salt Lake. Despite the increased buoyancy factor, they submerge for years at a time and use special periscopes to observe cattle gathering along the shore. You see, all that salt concentration in the GSL has really toughened their hides over the years. Thus their hides are in high demand as "salt toughened" fish hide leather. This causes one of the strangest of phenomenons in nature in which jealous, snorting, cattle gather around the shore of the lake and protest openly around their campfires. They are often observed in frenzied fits of jealousy!

Duckquack, you really shouldn't knock our "great salty dolphin"! Who knows when you'll really need a pair of salty dolphin gloves or a jacket perhaps... made from the leather of our submerged, saltwater, swimming, sidekicks and sweethearts!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

ssorllih · Post by **ssorllih** » Fri Dec 21, 2012 05:57

Do you think that either of you can come up with a proper recipe for dolphin sausage. after all if you are gonna use the hide to make your boots you ought not waste the meat.

el Ducko · Post by **el Ducko** » Sat Dec 22, 2012 06:02

ssorllih wrote:Do you think that either of you can come up with a proper recipe for dolphin sausage. after all if you are gonna use the hide to make your boots you ought not waste the meat.

Ross, it's the same as the whale meat sausage recipe. (Unfortunately, it's written in Japanese.) If I told you, .:GreenPeace:. would have to kill you.

Tell ya what, try using whale casing next time you stuff sausage. Talk about yer big honkin' links! Why, not even CW could exaggerate enough to do 'em justice. We'll need your machinist skills to make a big enough stuffer tube for 'em.

crustyo44 · Post by **crustyo44** » Sat Dec 22, 2012 06:15

Hi cbrace,
Welkom by ons forum.Wij hebben een paar Nederlandse leden, niet erg aktief omdat zij het druk hebben.
Are you a native pure-bred clogwog or an imported one? You will find that the sausages you make yourself with the recipes you find on this forum are great and much better than what you can buy.
Groetjes,
Jan Ooms.
Brisbane.
Australia.

PS. CW, my apologies for a bit of clog language, it won't happen again. Crusty.