Shucks Ross,
When a cowboy is too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice.

So I always try to pass on a little "Western Wisdom" whenever the opportunity arises or I fall off my horse. Being drug around the cacti by a broke-wind broomtail all these years, I`ve found that a word to the wise is unnecessary. However, I`ve learned that you can`t keep trouble from visitin`, but you don`t have to offer it a chair! And lettin` the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin` it back in. Sittin` round a poker table, I learned a faint heart never filled a flush, but a full house divided ain`t ta gonna win no pots. Success isn`t how many aces you`ve drawn, it`s the size of the hole a man leaves when he dies. Next, I learned to never mention "rope" in the home of a hanged man!
And never...ever - never, never, and I mean never in a thousand years, mention to your wife that her turkey was "a little overcooked"! The consequences are worse than spending a month in jail with a wounded hypochondriac!
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day...and don`t slap a man who is chewin` tobacco.
In conclusion, always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's good to know what it was! And Ross... never squat while you`re a wearin` yer` spurs!
Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon